Friday, January 9, 2015

Happy New Year!

In a recent post titled "How to Forget about 2014", Donald Miller quoted someone who said this about life...the windshield is much bigger than the rearview mirror. I love that. People who focus too much on the rear view are less able to steer and make good decisions or changes for what's ahead. I thought it might encourage someone if I were to share my rearview mirror story. I hope you don't mind.
I have said more than a few times, "I can't wait for 2014 to be over." In January I found my mom at her home in one of those situations we all fear will one day happen. That was the beginning of an almost 6 month fight for her life and quite an emotional roller coaster. The exhaustion felt almost unbearable as did the heartache. She passed away in the middle of 2014. And the remainder of this year found my family and I dealing with grief. You hear about the phases of grief and about how time heals all wounds, etc. Indeed, grief is quite an individual thing and I am confident now that it varies from person to person.
Here comes the "but". BUT there were jewels in 2014 as well and if I were to erase the year from my memory, or rearview, I would not have them to treasure. The ol' circle of life kind of things, like the birth of our nephew Tucker and two beautiful weddings. Both weddings were at crucial times but in each of those times we were able to celebrate the moment. And dance. I love that! Somehow it's like a rebellious response against whatever is trying to rob your joy. Despite it all, we knew this was good and right and we were able to set aside any pain for a moment. It didn't go away. It just didn't have so much power. Some would call that "surprised by joy." And this year I traveled with my children on some pretty spectacular trips. I will never forget a breathtaking, clear and starry night when I was dancing and laughing onboard a boat in NYC's harbor with a crowd of happy high school students and parents...



Life is so very hard. And life is so very beautiful. I experienced both simultaneously in 2014. I do believe God gives us more than we can handle. Because it's in those times when we come to our own ends, we cry out to God to help us. He was faithful. He is faithful. Good bye 2014. I will never forget you.

Happy New Year!

Now let's dance...

video

*Special thanks to my friend Diana Contorno for the images and the laughter.



2 comments:

  1. I have missed you Amy! So sorry for all you have been through this past year. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief except through God. I pray for your healing and a wonderful 2015. Hoping to see you soon!

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    Replies
    1. Carol! I have missed you too! I hear you are teaching?! I'd love to come paint with you sometime! Let's finally make it happen!

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Amy